Aging with Laughter: Enjoying Christmas Jokes with the Elderly

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Make the holiday season not only fun but also funny. So here are some Christmas jokes, puns, and quotes to make you or your elderly loved ones more cheerful.

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Christmas Jokes for the Elderly

Even the cheeriest of seniors occasionally feel a bit like the Grinch some days.

If you, or a senior you love, need a dose of holiday cheer, try any of the following Christmas jokes to get a quick giggle out of them. They are also excellent for filling in awkward silences at a Christmas party for seniors.

We’ve got squeaky-clean jokes, witty puns, “dad” jokes, and even some slightly naughty selections too!

Use these to fill awkward

Clean But Funny Christmas Jokes for Seniors

These jokes are safe for everyone, so jot a few in your holiday cards or tell them at work or at holiday parties you attend. 

Punny Christmas Jokes

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? 
Claus-trophobia!
What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause.
What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? 
Truth or deer.
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? 
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle?
 It must have reindeer.

Santa Claus Jokes

Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill? 
Jack Frost.
How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance?
 “Present!”
What’s red and white and falls down chimneys? 
Santa Klutz!
How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm? 
His sleigh is flown by raindeer.
How do you know when Santa’s around? 
You can always sense his presents.
What was Santa’s favorite subject in school? 
Chemis-tree!
Why does Santa always enter through the chimney? 
Because it soots him.
Christmas jokes for the elderly tree
OF course, Christmas tree jokes are not to be missed this holiday season.

Christmas Tree Jokes

What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed?
It started its branch.
How do Christmas trees get their email? 
They log-on.
Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist?
It needed a root canal!
What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm? 
May the forest be with you!
How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? 
They signed a peace tree-ty!
Interested in Christmas music and songs for seniors?
Learn More

Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock! Who’s there? 
Dexter. Dexter who? 
Dexter halls with boughs of holly…
Knock, knock! Who’s there?
Santa. Santa who?
Santa Christmas card to you, did you get it?
Knock, knock! Who’s there?
Elf. Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present for Santa!
Knock, knock! Who’s there?
Holly. Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!
Knock, knock! Who’s there?
Interrupting Santa. 
Inter– Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
Knock, knock! Who’s there?
Anna. Anna who?
Anna partridge in a pear tree.

Christmas Puns

Here are some more clean puns that many older adults would enjoy. 

Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
They’re into all the wrapping.
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house!
How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit?
Nurse them back to elf.
What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can’t hear you!
Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no body to go with.
What do you call a cat on the beach on Christmas Day?
Sandyclaws.
Interested in Christmas movies and specials for older adults?
Learn More

Funny Christmas Quotes

These are some of our favorite funny Christmas poems and stories for seniors courtesy of jokequote.com:

Christmas Poem

Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren’t for Christmas
We’d all be Jewish

Benny Hill

Christmas Decorating

I wanted our street to have the prettiest decorations in the neighborhood, so I strung lit colored balls from house to house all the way down the block. I did all the electrical wiring myself.

If you’d like further information, just drive down Moorpark Street in North Hollywood. We’re the third pile of ashes from the corner.

Bob Hope

Grandma’s Christmas Strategy

One Christmas, a mother decided she would no longer remind her kids to send thank-you notes. Consequently, the kids’ grandmother never received any thanks for the Christmas checks she sent to the kids.

The next Christmas, all the kids stopped by in person to thank their grandmother for their checks.

When asked by a friend what caused this behavior change, the grandmother replied, “Simple. This year I didn’t sign the checks.”

Christmas Wish

When a father asked his little boy what he wanted for Christmas, the boy replied, “A baby sister.”

As it turned out, the wife was pregnant and delivered on Christmas Eve. On Christmas day, she brought home a brand new baby sister for their son.

The following year, when the father asked his little boy what he wanted for Christmas, the boy said, “If it wouldn’t make mommy too uncomfortable, I’d like a pony.”

The Optimist

Little Susie had been born with a sunny disposition and was the most optimistic kid anybody had ever seen.
She loved people and animals; no matter what happened, she always saw the bright side.

She was also an artistic girl. So one Christmas, her parents got her a big bag of clay for making pottery. They put it on the back porch next to a load of horse manure for the garden.

On Christmas Eve, dad wrapped the presents. It was a little dark on the porch, and as you may have guessed, he wrapped the manure by mistake instead of the pottery clay.

On Christmas morning, Susie was excited to see what Santa had brought her. When she finally got to unwrap her big present, her parents watched with anticipation to see how much she liked her clay.

When Susie opened the package and the bag inside containing several pounds of stinky horse manure, the parents were aghast.

But before they could apologize, Susie said, “Oh boy! I got a pony!

Christmas jokes for the elderly dad
“Dad jokes” are here to stay even during Christmas.

Christmas Dad Jokes

As a Dad myself, there is nothing better than an eye-roll received from a well-timed “Dad joke.” Here are our favorites to tell a senior or elder in your life. 

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? 
Rude-olph.
What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? 
Stick with me, and we’ll go places!
What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke? 
This one’s going to sleigh you!
Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? 
Their days are numbered!
What do you call a broke Santa? 
Saint Nickel-less.

Following are the best of the worst dad jokes that are so corny no one can avoid laughing when they hear them.

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet.
What do snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?
What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
Fleece Navidad.
What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Silent Night.
Why did Santa’s helper see a therapist?
Because he had low elf-esteem.

(Slightly) Naughty Christmas Jokes for Seniors

Shifting gears a bit, here are a few NSFW adult jokes that will have you giggling out your eggnog during the holidays.

Cute Dirty Jokes

Not every older person is a prude, but use caution when repeating these slightly off-color jokes we found at ScaryMommy.com.

What do snowmen use to make snow babies?
Snowballs.
What do a train set and your wife’s breasts have in common?
They were both made for kids, but you can’t help playing with them.
What do three ho’s get you?
One very jolly Santa.
Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
Because he knows better than to try the back door.
How is Christmas just like any other day at the office?
You do a bunch of work, and some guy in a suit gets all the credit.
Why do elves laugh when they run?
Because the snow tickles their balls.
Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?
He only comes once a year.

Jokes to Put You on the Naughty List

You better tell these jokes in a whisper because Santa is listening! 

What do priests and Christmas trees have in common?
Their balls are just ornamental.
Why is Santa so damn jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
What do all the female reindeer do when Santa takes the males out to guide his sleigh?
They go into town and blow more than a few bucks.
Why was the snowman smiling?
He could see the snowblower coming down the street!
What do you call a girl who cheats on you during the holidays?
A ho ho ho bag.
Why does Santa always land on your roof?
Because he likes it on top.

Video Guide

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Infographic: Christmas Jokes for Seniors

Christmas Jokes for Older Adults infographic
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We hope this list of Christmas-themed jokes and puns for older adults has given you a good chuckle and happy snigger! If so, we’d appreciate a share on your favorite social media! Please share your favorite holiday jokes in the comments below!

Certified Senior Advisor (CSA)®
Senior Home Safety Specialist (SHSS)®
Assistive Technology Professional

Scott Grant has spent more than 20 years serving seniors and the elderly in the home medical equipment industry. He has worked as a manufacturer's rep for the top medical equipment companies and a custom wheelchair specialist at a durable medical equipment (DME) provider in WV. He is father to 4 beautiful daughters and has three terrific grandkids. When not promoting better living for older adults, he enjoys outdoor activities including hiking and kayaking and early morning runs.

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