Even the cheeriest of seniors occasionally feel a bit like the Grinch some days.
If you, or a senior you love, need a dose of holiday cheer, try any of the following Christmas jokes to get a quick giggle out of them. They are also excellent for filling in awkward silences at a Christmas party for seniors.
We’ve got squeaky-clean jokes, witty puns, “dad” jokes, and even some slightly naughty selections too!
Use these to fill awkward
Clean But Funny Christmas Jokes for Seniors
These jokes are safe for everyone, so jot a few in your holiday cards or tell them at work or at holiday parties you attend.
Punny Christmas Jokes
Claus-trophobia!
Santa Pause.
Truth or deer.
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
It must have reindeer.
Santa Claus Jokes
Jack Frost.
“Present!”
Santa Klutz!
His sleigh is flown by raindeer.
You can always sense his presents.
Chemis-tree!
Because it soots him.
Christmas Tree Jokes
It started its branch.
They log-on.
It needed a root canal!
May the forest be with you!
They signed a peace tree-ty!
Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes
Dexter. Dexter who?
Dexter halls with boughs of holly…
Santa. Santa who?
Santa Christmas card to you, did you get it?
Elf. Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present for Santa!
Holly. Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!
Interrupting Santa.
Inter– Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
Anna. Anna who?
Anna partridge in a pear tree.
Christmas Puns
Here are some more clean puns that many older adults would enjoy.
They’re into all the wrapping.
Nothing. It was on the house!
Nurse them back to elf.
Anything you want. He can’t hear you!
He had no body to go with.
Sandyclaws.
Funny Christmas Quotes
These are some of our favorite funny Christmas poems and stories for seniors courtesy of jokequote.com:
Christmas Poem
Roses are reddish
Benny Hill
Violets are bluish
If it weren’t for Christmas
We’d all be Jewish
Christmas Decorating
I wanted our street to have the prettiest decorations in the neighborhood, so I strung lit colored balls from house to house all the way down the block. I did all the electrical wiring myself.
If you’d like further information, just drive down Moorpark Street in North Hollywood. We’re the third pile of ashes from the corner.
Bob Hope
Grandma’s Christmas Strategy
One Christmas, a mother decided she would no longer remind her kids to send thank-you notes. Consequently, the kids’ grandmother never received any thanks for the Christmas checks she sent to the kids.
The next Christmas, all the kids stopped by in person to thank their grandmother for their checks.
When asked by a friend what caused this behavior change, the grandmother replied, “Simple. This year I didn’t sign the checks.”
Christmas Wish
When a father asked his little boy what he wanted for Christmas, the boy replied, “A baby sister.”
As it turned out, the wife was pregnant and delivered on Christmas Eve. On Christmas day, she brought home a brand new baby sister for their son.
The following year, when the father asked his little boy what he wanted for Christmas, the boy said, “If it wouldn’t make mommy too uncomfortable, I’d like a pony.”
The Optimist
Little Susie had been born with a sunny disposition and was the most optimistic kid anybody had ever seen.
She loved people and animals; no matter what happened, she always saw the bright side.She was also an artistic girl. So one Christmas, her parents got her a big bag of clay for making pottery. They put it on the back porch next to a load of horse manure for the garden.
On Christmas Eve, dad wrapped the presents. It was a little dark on the porch, and as you may have guessed, he wrapped the manure by mistake instead of the pottery clay.
On Christmas morning, Susie was excited to see what Santa had brought her. When she finally got to unwrap her big present, her parents watched with anticipation to see how much she liked her clay.
When Susie opened the package and the bag inside containing several pounds of stinky horse manure, the parents were aghast.
But before they could apologize, Susie said, “Oh boy! I got a pony!
Christmas Dad Jokes
As a Dad myself, there is nothing better than an eye-roll received from a well-timed “Dad joke.” Here are our favorites to tell a senior or elder in your life.
Rude-olph.
Stick with me, and we’ll go places!
This one’s going to sleigh you!
Their days are numbered!
Saint Nickel-less.
Following are the best of the worst dad jokes that are so corny no one can avoid laughing when they hear them.
The elf-abet.
Chill-dren.
Do you smell carrots?
Fleece Navidad.
Silent Night.
Because he had low elf-esteem.
(Slightly) Naughty Christmas Jokes for Seniors
Shifting gears a bit, here are a few NSFW adult jokes that will have you giggling out your eggnog during the holidays.
Cute Dirty Jokes
Not every older person is a prude, but use caution when repeating these slightly off-color jokes we found at ScaryMommy.com.
Snowballs.
They were both made for kids, but you can’t help playing with them.
One very jolly Santa.
Because he knows better than to try the back door.
You do a bunch of work, and some guy in a suit gets all the credit.
Because the snow tickles their balls.
He only comes once a year.
Jokes to Put You on the Naughty List
You better tell these jokes in a whisper because Santa is listening!
Their balls are just ornamental.
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
They go into town and blow more than a few bucks.
He could see the snowblower coming down the street!
A ho ho ho bag.
Because he likes it on top.
Video Guide
Audio Article
Infographic: Christmas Jokes for Seniors
<a href="https://www.grayingwithgrace.com/christmas-jokes-for-elderly/"><img style="width:100%;" src="https://www.grayingwithgrace.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Christmas-Jokes-for-the-Elderly-infographic.png"></a><br>Design by: <a href="https://www.grayingwithgrace.com">Graying With Grace</a>We hope this list of Christmas-themed jokes and puns for older adults has given you a good chuckle and happy snigger! If so, we’d appreciate a share on your favorite social media! Please share your favorite holiday jokes in the comments below!
