How To Deal With An Elderly Parent That Is Demanding

Certified Senior Advisor (CSA)®

When dealing with an elderly parent who is demanding, take a step back and look at their overall situation. Try to figure out the trigger and work on that. Here are several tips on how to deal with an elderly parent who is demanding.

dealing with demanding elderly parents

When dealing with an elderly parent who is demanding, take a step back and look at their overall situation. Try to figure out the trigger and work on that. Here are several tips on how to deal with an elderly parent who is demanding.

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As people age, they can become difficult to deal with. But, stop for a minute and think about why that could be. They are dealing with age, their mortality, as well as the physical problems occurring within their bodies.

For some adults, watching their parents get older is very difficult especially if they act out. Here are some tips on how to deal with demanding parents.

How To Deal With Demanding Elderly Parents

It’s important that people know that getting older is difficult for many of the aged population. They may be unhappy and physically hurting. But, you’ll need to find a healthy way to deal with demanding elderly parents.

Here are 5 ways you can increase your chance of success when dealing with demanding parents:

Patience – The best way for you to deal with elderly parents that are demanding is to exercise extreme patience. Realize that older people will need to be treated differently than when they were younger and more active. If you can keep your calm, it will keep the situation from escalating.

Use Music – Soft music has always been known to assist with the care of elderly people. Music has a way of calming people’s nerves so putting on some good classical music in the background will lessen the bad mood and increase joy, especially for older people.

Fresh Air – Getting an elderly person out into the fresh air should be done as often as possible. A change of scenery may be all that is needed to get them away from the situation that frustrates them from time to time. Just taking them for a walk or to sit outside on a patio will boost their mood immensely. Maybe even go on a short vacation together.

Active Participation – Try to do things that require the active participation from your demanding parent. Have them write a list, make something or any other type of activity that requires their participation. Get them to focus on this task at hand which will help to eliminate the demanding tendencies that they are feeling.

Visit Often – It’s important to visit or call as often as possible. Older people may feel that they are not getting the attention that they deserve. You should visit them as often as you can without overdoing it. Short visits are better than no visits at all.

What Causes Sudden Aggression And Personality Changes In Elderly Parents?

There are many reasons why elderly parents may show sudden aggression and personality changes due to their increasing age. Many times, it’s due to medical problems that affect them and cause them to feel uncomfortable both in their body and in their mind. They do not feel in control like they once did so they may act out in different ways.

Here is a list of things that could be causing them to act out:

Pain – Many elderly people are in pain. But they may not have to be suffering. Seek out the advice of their physician for any pain management ideas. Agitation increases with medical issues too. They should be checked regularly for their health-related issues.

Lack Of Sleep – Getting the proper rest for elderly people is important. Lack of sleep can cause them to act out in various ways. It’s helpful to take a step back and look at the situation. Make sure that they get the proper sleep on a regular basis.

Being Too Cold Or Too Hot – It’s important that an elderly person is kept at a comfortable temperature. If they are too hot or cold, they may act out inappropriately.

Isolation – Being alone too much can cause elderly people to act out as well. They may want the attention that they need from their children on a regular basis.

Wrong Medications – It’s possible that the medications could be causing a sudden change in behavior. Making sure that they are getting the right medications and that they are taking the right doses or the correct pills at the right time.

RELATED: Having an Elderly Parent Move in With You

Summary and Final Thoughts

As parents age, their children need to be there for them. It’s important to visit often and spend time with them as they enjoy their later years.

Sometimes it is difficult. There will be days you just don’t want to deal with it. But, try to persevere through it and be the bigger person. One day, you may not have the chance…

What tips and suggestions do you have for dealing with an elderly parent who is demanding? Please share your thoughts and ideas in the comments below.

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Scott Grant, CSA®, ATP, CRTS®

Certified Senior Advisor (CSA)®
Assistive Technology Professional
Certified Rehab Technology Supplier (CRTS®)

I have been serving seniors and the elderly for over 20 years as a medical equipment and custom wheelchair specialist for a regional medical equipment company. I am also a lucky dad to four awesome daughters and grandfather to three pretty terrific grandkids. When not helping older adult improve the quality of their lives, I enjoy early morning runs and occasional kayak trips. I am also a self-admitted nerd who loves anything from the 1980's. Learn More

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